How to ADHD (2024)

• Resources by Chapter
  • Introduction: Toolbox Worksheet
    BONUS - Virtual Toolbox Notion Template
  • Ch.1 (How to Fail at Everything): Permission Slip Worksheet
  • Ch.5 (How to Sleep): Morningness-Eveningness Questionnaire (Figure out your chronotype)
  • Ch.7 (How to Motivate Your Brain): Decisional Balance Worksheet
  • Ch.9 (How to Feel): Emotion Tracker Worksheet
    Reference Cards for Common Human Needs and The Feelings We Experience When They Aren't Met
    Help With Finding a Therapist
  • Ch.11 (How to Make ADHD Harder): ADHD AND Communities & Organizations
  • Ch.12 (How to Heart): What's the Plan? Worksheet
  • Ch.13 (How to Change the World): The ADHD Friendly Rubric
  • Stories and Endings: Navigating Obstacles Worksheet
  • Wait, One More Thing!: Strengths Bingo Card
• Research Citations (End Notes)
• Additional Resources
• Additional Quotes From Our Community
• Chapter 2: How to ADD ADHD
• Chapter 3: How to (Hyper)focus
• Chapter 4: How to (Executive) Function
• Chapter 5: How to Sleep
• Chapter 7: How to Motivate Your Brain
• Chapter 8: How to Remember Stuff
• Where to Find Us

• ⭐ She wanted to consolidate and preserve her knowledge gained over seven years.
• ⭐ The goal is to provide a user's guide to ADHD, offering insights, research, strategies, and validation.
• ⭐ The book is intended to be ADHD-friendly, with short paragraphs, reading shortcuts, and quotes from the How to ADHD community.

• The Experience Of: [00:04:22] Personal and relatable experiences.
• What I Learned: [00:05:15] Easy-to-understand science communication.
  • ⭐Jump off point for more learning: howtoadhdbook.com [00:05:51]
• The Toolbox: [00:06:00] Research-backed strategies.
• The Ending Anecdote: [00:06:57] Perspective shifts.

• Language that attacks, shames, or silences is not used.
• Language that creates access is used.
  • e.g., "disability," "impairments," research-based terms, and colloquial language.

• High expectations frustrated the author and others when basic expectations weren't met.
• Examples of exceeding expectations: Reading comprehension at post-high school level in 3rd grade, raising ducklings for an English class essay.
• Examples of failing basic expectations: Struggles with basics such as keeping her room clean and homework done.

• Frank discussion of disordered eating [00:24:36]
• The author carried her shame and frustration with her into the audition room.
• In 10 years after college, the author quit or was fired from 15 jobs.

• Her glove box was full of unpaid parking tickets.
• Her marriage lasted four months.

• It helped her GPA go up a whole point, but medication added new expectations.

• There are three presentations: Primarily inattentive, primarily hyperactive-impulsive, and combined type.

• Rewards, not punishments, are more effective.

• It can affect life expectancy and make lives harder and shorter.

• The optimal treatment for ADHD is multimodal (therapy and medication).
• This can include skills training, psychoeducation, and support.

Common reasons for system breakdown:

• Forgetting to use it or how to use it
• Losing it
• Getting bored
• Forgetting it exists
• Misplacing important items
• procrastination
• distraction
• Technology issues
• Financial constraints
• Life disruptions

Response to failure: Sometimes maintaining perfect organization through obsessive control [01:48:58]

Trade-off: Could only stay organized by not letting life happen [01:49:38]

• What's worked before
• Current habits and preferences
• ADHD-specific needs

• lengthy tasks
• repetitive tasks
• boring tasks,
• tedious tasks

• When pleasurable activities happen, dopamine is released, signaling the brain to remember the activity
• ADHD brains may not release anticipatory dopamine in the same way as neurotypical brains. [03:31:39]
• Reuptake (reabsorption) of dopamine may occur before it reaches a receptor [03:31:46].
• This prevents the brain from associating certain behaviors with positive outcomes.

• Low dopamine leads to lack of motivation, reduced pleasure, and fatigue [03:32:37].
• Brains become understimulated, leading to procrastination, complicating tasks, and doing serious things in silly ways [03:32:45].

• No external incentives needed.
• Example: Eating cookies.
• Examples that work for Jessica: Learning something new, spending time with animals, setting up new organization systems, cuddling up with a blanket and playing Nintendo Switch. [03:33:48]

• Examples: Working hard on a talk because people will know if you don't, making bread to have fresh bread, filing taxes to avoid penalties.
• Extrinsic consequences often feel too far away to be motivating.

• ADHD brains have shorter time horizons, making future rewards even less motivating [03:35:22].
• If a task is intrinsically rewarding, temporal discounting has less impact [03:35:48].

• The more past struggles, the higher the wall [03:37:37].
• Requires motivation to climb the emotional wall in addition to the task itself [03:37:48].
• Those with ADHD often have more and higher walls of awful due to increased experiences of failure, criticism, and rejection [03:38:08].
• Common emotions: overwhelm, discouragement, hopelessness, Fear, confusion [03:38:14].
• Weaker working memory can make it difficult to remember why you are doing something or how it will feel to complete the task, so all you see is the "wall of awful" [03:38:22].

• Hulk Smash: Get angry enough to power through (can damage relationships) [03:38:58].
• Put a Door in the Wall: Change the mood with music, TV, or a new location to distract yourself [03:39:10].
• Climb the Wall: Do the emotional work of preparing to face the anxiety and gear up to do the thing [03:39:21].

• Example: Preparing for a bike ride (getting gear, checking tires) makes you more likely to actually go [03:40:48].
• Can interrupt negative thought spirals [03:41:25].

• Skill Gap: Not knowing how to do the thing or the steps involved [03:42:16].
• Lack of Resources: Not having enough time, supplies, or energy [03:42:23].
• Perfectionism: Anxiety preventing you from starting or getting stuck in mental loops [03:42:31].
• Overly Optimistic Thinking (Positive Illusory Bias): Assuming you have enough time without checking [03:42:40].
• Forgetfulness: ADHD-related memory issues [03:42:50].
• Unrealistic Goal: Goal is unattainable or unsustainable [03:42:59].

• Add Urgency: Invite a guest over to clean, sign up for a class with a friend to exercise, set up a get-stuff-done meeting with a coworker, turn a marathon project into a series of mini-sprints [03:45:11].
• Find the Right Level of Challenging: Adjust the difficulty to avoid boredom or frustration. "Write shitty first drafts" (Anne Lamott, "Bird by Bird") [03:45:35].
• Tie a Task to a Personal Interest: Incorporate interests into the task. Use D&D metaphors for a paper draft, turtle stickers to mark off tasks [03:46:09].
• Add Novelty: Change location, tools, or people for boring tasks [03:46:43].
• Resparklize: (Barbara Luther) When a working system stops, find a way to make it "shiny" again [03:46:56].

• Do What You Can Ahead of Time: Sleep in gym clothes, book classes in advance, make a checklist [03:48:28].
• Remove Physical Obstacles and Other Barriers: Address sensory sensitivities (gloves for dishes, earplugs for noise, sunglasses for errands) [03:48:41].
• Barrier Log: Track obstacles encountered during tasks to identify removable barriers [03:49:09].
• Invest in Tools You Enjoy Using: Can make tasks more appealing and save money in the long run [03:49:29].
• Tap into Your Why: Connect to the reason for doing the task. The Simpsons example, baby pictures cover the sign, "Do it for her" [03:49:54].
• Ride the Wave: Take advantage of moments of motivation to tackle tasks [03:50:22].
• Eat the Ice Cream First: (Jesse J. Anderson, "Extra Focus") Do something enjoyable first to stay in a productive mode [03:50:32].

• Decide On What You're Doing and Not Doing: Clarify priorities [03:52:16].
• Find Productivity Partners: Body doubling, working in public [03:52:35].
• Shorten the Feedback Loop: Ask for shorter deadlines or more frequent check-ins [03:52:55].
• Make it a Competition: Gamify productivity, challenge a friend [03:53:20].

• Pick a Reward That is Meaningful to You: Choose something you don't often allow yourself or related to your goals (fitness gear for working out, cozy sweaters for writing) [03:56:12].
• Scale a Reward Strategically: Too big leads to inflation; too small isn't motivating [03:56:37].
• Make the Reward More Immediate: Immediate feedback, rewards as you go, pair something rewarding with the activity [03:57:09].
• Tap into Your Excitement: Give yourself the reward for doing the thing [03:57:34].

• Cycle Through Hobbies, Jobs, and Interests: Switch when novelty wears off [03:59:36].
• Be a Bumblebee: Carry lessons learned from one experience to the next [03:59:44].
• Set a Date to Reevaluate: Commit for a set time, then decide if it's worth continuing [04:00:10].

• Coach A: Yelling, berating, focusing on mistakes.
• Coach B: Providing constructive feedback, focusing on improvement.